Man assaults victim, victim arrested

It really happened, right here in my hometown of Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Consider it your crime riddle of the week. Have you figured out how it’s possible? The answer after the jump.

By Rob Tripp
Whig-Standard Police Reporter

A 34-year-old man was the victim of a violent beating in broad daylight in downtown Kingston yesterday.

Police aren’t hunting the culprits. They charged the victim, who, it turns out, assaulted himself.

“He’s now been charged with one count of public mischief,” said Staff Sgt. Mike Attwood, who was shaking his head over the bizarre incident.

It began just after 9 a. m., when police were called to a retail shop on lower Princess Street where a man reported an assault.

The employee told police he’d been jumped by two brazen bandits while he was walking along Cataraqui Street, on his way to work.

The pair landed blows in a bid to steal the victim’s wallet.

“He had a very swollen lip, a bloody nose, maybe a broken nose,” Attwood said.

The obvious injuries spurred a police manhunt. Officers rushed to the area where the man had been walking. A tracking dog unit was called in.

The victim gave a detailed statement and description of his attackers.

Police could find no sign of the culprits and no witnesses and they began to see inconsistencies in the man’s story.

Officers asked him go over the story again and, after some pressure, he broke down and confessed that he had concocted the story of being jumped by unknown assailants.

“He admitted that he gave himself several shots in the face to appear that he’d been attacked,” Attwood said.

The mugging tale was a ruse to get the day off work, the man told police.

“I can only assume that they didn’t have a great sick plan where he works,” Attwood noted.

He would not identify the man’s place of employment.

“He got the day off,” Attwood added. “He got to spend most of the day in the [police] cells.”

The man was released yesterday, on a promise to appear in court next month.

Attwood said he couldn’t estimate the cost, but a significant amount of police resources were consumed in responding to the man’s bogus tale.

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