Tag: dumb

Cops discover van with remarkable custom seating

You have to see it to believe it. An Ontario Provincial Police officer conducting a roadside seatblet blitz near Ottawa, Ontario, made a startling discovery Wednesday. The front-seat passenger in a van he pulled over was enjoying the ride in cushy comfort, in a rocker recliner chair inserted in the van in place of the standard-issue seat. The recliner was not attached to the vehicle and by the looks of the photo provided by police (see it after the jump), a seatbelt was not part of the new configuration.

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Golf bag bandits hit the jackpot

What’s in your golf bag? Maybe sweaty socks, broken tees, empty beer cans, filthy rags and scorecards you don’t want anyone to see. How about $35,000 worth of diamond rings. That’s what one female duffer was toting in her bag during a recent round at a course just west of Kingston, Ontario. Someone may have seen her stuff the rings into the bag, or perhaps knew they were there – and stole them.

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Saul Betesh

Scuba-diving ball burglars busted

See all posts about dumb crooks and kooky crimesWhen darkness fell on the lush fairways and greens of Camden Braes golf course, near Kingston, Ontario, a pirate duo descended beneath the surface, in pursuit of sunken treasure. That’s when the cops arrived. Police officers caught two men, in scuba gear, plundering the water hazards of the course. They were snatching lost golf balls, reportedly a multimillion dollar a year business (an estimated 200 million lost balls in the U.S. each year). Read the full police news release, after the jump, detailing the early-morning probe that ended with two Quebec men facing theft charges for pilfering dimpled projectiles without permission of golf course owners (that’s the 6th hole at Camden Braes in the pic above).

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Home invasion bandit shoots himself in foot – literally

Sometimes the cops don’t have to shoot the bad guys. They shoot themselves. Check out this news release today from provincial police in eastern Ontario, written with understatement, but enough detail to make clear that good guys got a good laugh at the expense of the crooks. Napanee OPP Arrest Three In Home Invasion Robbery...

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Man brings Easter treats to court – cocaine, marijuana

It’s probably not a good idea to take your cocaine to court with you, or your cute little pot-filled Easter eggs, either. I’ll let the news release from the Kingston city police department ‘splain the rest. Read it after the jump.

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The case of the polite parole violator

See all posts about dumb crooks and kooky crimesIn the dead of winter, when you’re three sheets to the wind, tired and far from home, a police station can look like an inviting crash pad, particularly if you’re a man of limited means. That might be the explanation for the bizarre behaviour of a paroled federal prisoner who showed up at the HQ of the constabulary in the Friendly City, as Belleville, in eastern Ontario, is known. Police noted, dryly, that:

At approx 4 a.m. an extremely intoxicated male attended the front desk of the police station advising that he was breaching his parole conditions and proceed (sic) to list all of the conditions being breached

While it clearly wasn’t a hot crime story, someone at the Belleville PD with a wry sense of humour thought to put the story out in a release (read it after the jump).

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The man who never stops swearing at police

Sean Kelly doesn’t give police the finger when he wants to drop the F-bomb. He turns his back. The Kingston, Ontario, man who is, in the parlance, ‘known to police,’ had a message for officers who showed up to a donut shop this week to arrest him after reports of a disturbance. Once Kelly’s T-shirt...

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Investigators hunt 'unexplained absence of eggs'

See all posts about dumb crooks and kooky crimesConscientious citizens across eastern Ontario dashed to their kitchens this week, eager to aid police in their pursuit of a band of hoodlums who, investigators believed, had likely left a hot clue that any hard-boiled investigator could crack, if he could just look into the refrigerator of every home in the region.

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