Cops discover van with remarkable custom seating

You have to see it to believe it. An Ontario Provincial Police officer conducting a roadside seatblet blitz near Ottawa, Ontario, made a startling discovery Wednesday. The front-seat passenger in a van he pulled over was enjoying the ride in cushy comfort, in a rocker recliner chair inserted in the van in place of the standard-issue seat. The recliner was not attached to the vehicle and by the looks of the photo provided by police (see it after the jump), a seatbelt was not part of the new configuration.

[Read more…]

Share

Sailor faces second court martial over alleged penis swirling

A sailor on a Canadian warship will face a second court martial over an allegation that he dipped his penis in another sailor’s glass of chocolate milk after an argument between the two men in a mess hall of the ship (read the court docs after the jump). Master Seaman W.L. Boyle was acquitted of the charge of acting in a “disgraceful manner” by a military judge, Cmdr. Paul Lamont, despite testimony from another sailor who said he watched Boyle unzip his pants and insert his penis into the glass and “swirl it around.”

[Read more…]

Share

Scuba-diving ball burglars busted

See all posts about dumb crooks and kooky crimesWhen darkness fell on the lush fairways and greens of Camden Braes golf course, near Kingston, Ontario, a pirate duo descended beneath the surface, in pursuit of sunken treasure. That’s when the cops arrived. Police officers caught two men, in scuba gear, plundering the water hazards of the course. They were snatching lost golf balls, reportedly a multimillion dollar a year business (an estimated 200 million lost balls in the U.S. each year). Read the full police news release, after the jump, detailing the early-morning probe that ended with two Quebec men facing theft charges for pilfering dimpled projectiles without permission of golf course owners (that’s the 6th hole at Camden Braes in the pic above).

[Read more…]

Share

Man brings Easter treats to court – cocaine, marijuana

See all posts about dumb crooks and kooky crimesIt’s probably not a good idea to take your cocaine to court with you, or your cute little pot-filled Easter eggs, either. I’ll let the news release from the Kingston city police department ‘splain the rest:

Share

The man who never stops swearing at police

See all posts about dumb crooks and kooky crimesSean Kelly doesn’t give police the finger when he wants to drop the F-bomb. He turns his back. The Kingston, Ontario, man who is, in the parlance, ‘known to police,’ had a message for officers who showed up to a donut shop this week to arrest him after reports of a disturbance. Once Kelly’s T-shirt came off, the message was clear. Three words, tattooed in block letters about two inches tall, stretch from his left to right shoulder blades: “FUCK THE POLICE.” It seems funny, until you imagine Kelly, sprawled on the ground face down, as officers cuff his hands behind his back. At that point, his hostile artwork likely does not endear him to his apprehenders, nor does it ensure him a more hospitable stay behind bars. Kelly was charged with causing a disturbance and breaching release conditions, including an order requiring him not to drink. Police were called after reports of an irate man at the donut shop screaming at a woman. The man also was seen banging his head off the plate glass window of the shop. Kelly appeared in court to face charges, shirtless. Some court staff grimaced; some snickered.

Share

Investigators hunt 'unexplained absence of eggs'

See all posts about dumb crooks and kooky crimesConscientious citizens across eastern Ontario dashed to their kitchens this week, eager to aid police in their pursuit of a band of hoodlums who, investigators believed, had likely left a hot clue that any hard-boiled investigator could crack, if he could just look into the refrigerator of every home in the region.

[Read more…]

Share

Man assaults victim, victim arrested

It really happened, right here in my hometown of Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Consider it your crime riddle of the week. Have you figured out how it’s possible? The answer after the jump.

[Read more…]

Share

Customers roll back prices

Come on now. Admit it. At least once, you’ve looked at the self checkout machine in the department store and thought, mischievously: I could just slip this one thing in my bag, without scanning it. After all, the evil corporation has it coming for replacing real customer service and killing local jobs with technology.

[Read more…]

Share

How killers are caught

They spit. That’s how some murderers give themselves away these days:

A man wanted in connection with a homicide in Edmonton was arrested in Calgary on Wednesday after police officers walking a beat in the downtown area observed him spitting on the ground.

It’s further evidence that dumb luck can catch bad guys as well as laborious gumshoe detective work. Really, many murderers are caught because they get ratted out by accomplices, witnesses, family and friends. And plenty end up behind bars because they just can’t keep their mouths shut.

Share

Speed demon catches himself

Imagine this storyline: Crazy boy on powerful motorcycle drives really fast through city streets, videotapes himself doing it (including a view of the speedometer) and then posts to YouTube (though he has since removed the video). Guess what happens next? (Hint: police watch YouTube too). The video (there’s there were actually two) is was embedded above, but if you want to cut to the chase, here’s the story explaining the arrest of a 20-year-old Canberra, Australia man, who faces a slew of charges related to speeding on a motorcycle.

You must subscribe to read all of this content.
Log In Subscribe
Share